


What If?

by Vaderisbae



Category: Witches of Woodside, Witches of Woodside (D&D Stream)
Genre: F/F, F/M, I have feelings, Let them be happy for once!, Other, These Characters need some godsdamn THERAPY, fix-it?, happy endings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:01:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26256079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vaderisbae/pseuds/Vaderisbae
Summary: We got a glimpse into the witches of Woodside's idea of happiness. What if they got to stay?SPOILERS: Obviously there will be spoilers, up to and potentially including content from Episode 5. You have been warned.
Relationships: Anthe/Justice, Artie/Some Goddamn Peace and Quiet, Dor-Vey/Isabella, Kat/Emily, Mari/Emotional Vulnerability & Stability
Kudos: 4





	What If?

**Author's Note:**

> Oh boy, wow. So I recently became obsessed with a modern-day D&D stream called the Witches of Woodside. It has absolutely FANTASTIC players and the DM is *chef's kiss* BRILLIANT. However...they are the BIGGEST, most CHAOTIC bunch of gay/queer dumbasses I have ever seen. As such, their lives are basically just one giant pile of angst and sadness. As one of the discord members said: Welcome to Woodside, where everyone's hot and sad.
> 
> I desperately needed these babies to be happy and so I figured I'd just write it for them.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I do not own ANY of the characters or settings. They are all the intellectual property of Frank the DM and his players. Also, I know fuck-all about these characters, so I apologize if anything I've written is out of character for any of them. If there is anything I need to change or delete or alter, I will do it gladly. I would much rather just delete this whole head canon than fuck with incorrect characterization.
> 
> I love you all!

Mari concentrated on the fabric in her hands, tongue sticking out of the corner of her mouth as she weaved the cloth up, over, around, behind, and through. _No, wait, that looks wrong_. Dissatisfied with the results, she unwound the tie and started over.

“Did you know that you have the Thirty Years’ War to thank for neckties? Croatian mercenaries were hired by the French to fight for them--”

“Yeah, I’m sure it’s _fascinating_ , Mars Bar, but you don’t have to give me a history lecture every time. Now can you hurry it up? Christina is supposed to be here any minute and I know she’ll give me shit if _I’m_ the one who’s late.”

Mari finished the knot and smoothed the tie down over her brother’s button down shirt, stopping to button his jacket, before stepping back and admiring her work. Alex stood before her, dressed to the nines and looking as sauve as any movie star. His maroon suit (the color was his idea for sure) and black tie fit him perfectly, down to the dress shoes. It had been an expensive purchase and took a significant chunk out of Mari’s bank account, but every 18 year-old should have a snazzy outfit for occasions like this and Alex deserved to look his best for senior prom. She turned her brother around to face the mirror.

“What did I tell you? You look great!”

Alex lifted a hand to run it nervously through his hair, but she slapped it away before he could muss it up.

“Stop worrying! Christina is going to have to pick her jaw up off the floor when she sees you.” Mari wrapped her arms around her (now taller than her) little brother and gave him a squeeze. He squirmed in her arms, trying to wiggle his way out of the display of sibling affection. She let go and he bolted out of the room before she could stop him again to fiddle with the outfit. She heard the apartment door open and walked out to see Christina looking stunning in a teal prom dress with black accents. Alex stood by the door, hand still on the knob, staring at his girlfriend, obviously entranced.

“Are you going to invite the lady in or what?” Mari called out to Alex, grinning at his flustered blush and he gestured for Christina to inside. Mari’s mom picked this moment to pop out of the kitchen, phone in hand and start taking pictures. Mari laughed at Alex’s embarrassed efforts to get his mom to stop, leaning against the doorframe with arms crossed over her chest. She felt a warm arm slide around her shoulders as her dad came up next to her and joined in the laughter. Warmth blossomed in her chest and she leaned into the side hug, her own arms slipping around his waist and head tucked against his shoulder.

_It’s good to be home._

_________________________________

Sweat slid down the back of their neck from the heat of the spotlights, but she ignored it, belting out the lyrics to their band’s latest hit in time with the pounding drums and thrumming guitars. A sea of people stretched out before them, crowding around the stage and screaming along. It wasn’t nearly as many people as it felt like in the moment, only maybe a couple hundred, but to Anthe it felt endless. Their gaze was drawn to a man standing right at the front, almost touching the stage, a huge, tattered sign in his hands reading “I’m in love with the drummer.” He’d had that same damn sign ever since they first started playing gigs at Marvin’s Bar and by now it was an old joke. Justice still seemed to get a kick out of it though. Next to him stood a short woman, looking similar to Anthe, but with long, flowing black hair. She held up a sign that read “But I’m the one banging her.” Iris had made the sign soon after she and Spider had started dating when it was clear Justin wasn’t about to give up on his joke.

Anthe smiled as wildly as they could and still sing, music pumping through her body from the massive speakers. The music flowing about her in almost tangible waves, lifting her up higher and higher as the whole place resonated with the band’s playing. God, this feeling was amazing, far better than any drug could even hope to compare to. She rode out the song and seamlessly merged into the next.

After the show, which included a double encore and the crowd begging for more, Anthe stood backstage, wiping the sweat from their face and helping pack up the gear. They heard someone call out their name and they turned to see Justice and Iris walking through back towards them, huge smiles on their faces. Anthe jumped into Justice’s arms as soon as he was close enough. He caught her with ease and swept them into a kiss that lasted until Iris swatted his arm, annoyed at him stealing all the attention. Anthe jumped back down and grabbed their sister in a crushing hug.

“Hey! I didn’t know you guys were gonna be here! I thought you had a case, babe.” Anthe looked at their husband and tilted her head.

“Yeah, they had to reschedule the court date, so I had the time off. And besides, I couldn’t miss my rockstar lover playing a sold-out show.” He shot a smirk over at Spider, who’d come up and given Iris a kiss in greeting. The drummer just flipped him off, not rising to the bait. The comment did earn him another swat on the arm from Iris, though.

Justice’s small-time public defender firm had grown quickly from when he’d first gone solo. Nowadays, he was traveling all over the country, taking high-profile cases with clear civil rights violations and was instrumental in some major wins for several protestors and activists who’d been arrested unjustly. Anthe sometimes missed the days when they were living in that crappy little apartment, Justice working at some underpaid, underfunded office and Anthe busy trying to sell her art and get the band into the spotlight. In moments like this, though, it was all worth it. They were standing here with the man they loved, sister who couldn’t be better, after a night rocking out with a building full of fans. Anthe had to hold back tears for a second or two as joy washed through them. 

_How could anything get better than this?_

__________________________________________

Kat sat with her legs crossed on the cold linoleum of the animal shelter floor. A large stripey tom looked at her lazy before rolling over and ignoring her. She tapped her fingers on the ground and made little beckoning noises to try to get his attention. His tattered ears twitched and he lifted his head to peer at her. Finally, her patience paid off and the big cat stood and stretched, paws kneading the cushion he had been laying on and stumpy tail sticking straight up. This old man had clearly had time on the streets. His fur was a little manky and that tail had obviously been amputated at some point. Kat liked that about him, though. She could understand living through the shitter. Life was hard sometimes and you didn’t always get through it without some scars. She was a survivor, though, and so was this striped tiger of a cat. He sauntered over to her, sitting down just a touch out of her reach and pretending to groom himself. He seemed just as stubbornly independent as she was, insisting on things progressing on his own terms.

With a little snort of laughter at the cat’s act, she pulled out her secret weapon: tuna treats. The cat’s pupils widened comically as soon as she opened the tub and he rushed up into her lap, yammering away in a throaty meow for the goodies. Kat happily obliged and fed him a few, which he ate with gusto (and no small amount of drool). After the snack, he settled down in her lap, curling into a ball with a sigh. She could feel the motor rumble of his purr as he softly kneaded her thigh with his paws. A soft smile lingered on her lips as he let her pet him. She smoothed down his fur and took the time to try getting rid of some of the more stubborn clumps. She’d been working on this one for a while now and a ripple of contentment spread through her at her success.

Footsteps sounded coming up from behind her, but she didn’t bother looking around. She knew those footsteps like she knew her own heartbeat. The person sat behind her and Kat leaned back against their chest, doing her best not to disturb the cat.

“Looks like you’ve got a new friend there, princess. Should I be jealous?”

“Of course you should be. I’m a catch.” Kat smiled wider as Emily chuckled at the statement.

They’d been married for almost two years now and they’d decided their home needed a new addition. They’d visited animal shelters in the area looking for the right fit for them and Kat had quickly become enamored with the striped tabby. Emily was a total sucker for the kittens, so she usually wandered off to play with the little balls of fur while Kat worked on gaining the big boy’s trust. Today was the first day he’d actually come sat on her lap and it gave her the warm fuzzies. There was something about this battered cat that she related to. He’d obviously been a pet at one point and later abandoned to fight for survival on his own. Kat knew what it felt like to be abandoned by the people who were supposed to love you and take care of you. Lucky for her though, she’d been adopted by a wonderful girl just as surely as she was about to adopt this kitty. Emily had stuck by her through everything that was thrown their way and they both just came out the stronger for it.

“So, this is the one, huh?” Emily asked, rousing Kat from her thoughts. “Got a name yet?”

“Yeah,” Kat replied, “what do you think about the name Bumblebee?”

___________________________________________

The tequila bottle spun through the air before landing perfectly in the hand held behind her back. Dor-Vey fluidly pulled the bottle around and poured a measure into the shaker before tapping in closed and giving in a vigorous shake. She poured the finished margarita into a salt-rimmed glass with a flourish and slid it over to the gorgeous woman sitting across the wood top bar from her. Was she showing off in front of a beautiful woman? Yes, yes she was. And it was worth every second of it. Marvin had finally followed through on his promise to teach her his ways when he decided to retire and leave the bar to her. It was still Marvin’s Bar(vin), but Dor-Vey was the one running the show.

“So, I don’t think I’ve seen you around here before.” Dor-Vey said, lifting an eyebrow and leaning an elbow on the bar.

“Really? _That’s_ the line you’re going with?” The woman asked, clear challenge in her question.

Just before Dor-Vey could shoot back a retort, the door to the bar swung open and a familiar, tall figure with fiery ginger hair and freckles walked in.

“Just give me a moment. Don’t move a muscle. I’ll be back.” Without waiting for a response, Dor-Vey hopped over the counter (giving the woman a clear view of her flexed abs and toned legs) and ran up to the man. She grabbed him around the waist squeezed hard.

Corbin huffed as the air was squeezed from his lungs before leaning down and lifting Dor-Vey off the ground. She whacked his shoulder until he was forced to put her down again, cackling the whole time.

“Fancy seeing a National Basketball Champ here in my dinky old bar!” Dor-Vey joked, nudging him in the ribs with an elbow.

Corbin had changed in the few years since he’d started at Woodside University. He was no longer a gangly, stick of a kid. He’d gained quite a bit of muscle, though he was still lean. He looked like he finally fit completely in his skin and it made Dor-Vey giddy with pride at how far this kid who was a brother to her had come.

“Isabella! How are you?” Corbin called, looking over Dor-Vey’s shoulder to where the gorgeous woman had been sitting. Dor-Vey glanced at her and saw her walking over. The woman gave Corbin just as big of a hug as she had and was beaming up at him.

“Hey there, shrimp. You’ll never guess what this one just tried on me.” She gestured at Dor-Vey with a thumb, smile turning into a smirk. “She really just came on to me with the whole ‘haven’t seen you round here’ schtick. As if that would work on me. I’m clearly a ten and that line only works on eights or below.” Isabella blew a kiss at Dor-Vey’s mock offended expression, before leaning in and giving her a real one.

They all settled into a booth and spent the rest of the night laughing and talking with each other, a found family in the heart of their home.

____________________________________

Artie slowly blinked their way to consciousness, snuggled up in their comforter and pile of pillows. They’d actually gotten a good night’s sleep for once, no last-minute assignments or upcoming exams to eat away at their time. It was rare for them to get to bed before 3 AM, but last night they’d managed it. They laid there for a few minutes, reveling in the warmth and comfiness before dragging themselves up and out of bed. They puttered around the small kitchen, putting the coffee on and scrounging up some breakfast. When the coffee was brewed, they poured themselves a mug and plopped down at the table with a bowl of ridiculously sugary cereal. As they ate, they scrolled through their notifications from the night before.

Being the somehow only sane friend in a group of ridiculously angsty gays was a heavy job, but Artie shouldered the burden with grace. Harmonia would be proud of how many spats they had smoothed over and all the drama they’d diverted with a few simple words and some well-timed snack breaks (it’s amazing how many issues really just come down to being hangry). They prepared themselves for the day’s drama, but, surprisingly, their notification feed was clear of angst. Their discord was overflowing with cute animal videos and wholesome humor. Suspicious of the lack of thirst and mentions of alcohol, they flipped through all their text messages and social media accounts, even the news. But nope, there wasn’t a single mention of vibrating dicks to be found! It seemed, for now at least, their friends had finally matured a bit and come around to their point of view. They knew the peace wouldn’t last long, but they contented themselves to revel in the harmony for as long as it lasted.

_Hm,_ they thought to themselves, _I suppose everyone gets to keep their rights for once._

_Just for today_.

**Author's Note:**

> Uh, soooooo, yeah? I've watched each episode at least twice, but I'm positive there's stuff I missed in there, so feel free to call me out on anything I fucked up. Hopefully this gives you happy feels because anyone who watches WoW sure as hell needs them!
> 
> Also, shoutout to everyone involved in the Witches of Woodside stream. Y'all are absolutely amazing human beings (or lizard people) and kudos for the staggering amount of effort you put into this show! <3 <3 <3
> 
> PS: Seriously, if I got anything wrong with any of the characters (like if Kat actually hates cats or if Artie is more of a tea person) please let me know <3


End file.
